Even the thought of Gregory's proposition was better than I could've ever imagined. He was what I was looking for to be eased into the lifestyle. Patient, caring, experienced, and his physical features were only accentuated by it all.
His deep blue eyes and warm smile were the first things I noticed about him. His lips were full and soft, but I knew they could be deceiving. I was sure those lips had uttered harsh punishments and commands when it was warranted by his past submissives. I was also sure they could give a very good submissive tender kisses in places that would make her writhe in pleasure for days. Compared to my pale skin, his had a natural healthy tan and although I could see he had scars on his hands and face, it only added his magnetism. Aside from his eyes and lips, his hands were the next to draw my attention. Much larger in size than my own, rough but supple I was aware that under the right circumstances they could be as hard as necessary. He was just over six feet tall with an average "dad bod", his hair was thinning which prompted him to shave his head, however the mix of grey in his beard gave away his age of 45. Most people would think he was an unassuming normal man, but that was part of what drew me to him. Gregory was very approachable, easy to talk to, and I loved that he didn't judge me for the questions I asked or for my inexperience. The decision to become his submissive seemed like an easy one to make, but I knew I had a lot to take into consideration. Yes, Gregory was experienced. Yes, he was willing to be patient with me and take all the time I needed to feel comfortable in the lifestyle. However, I was growing nervous. It was a huge step for me to even consider. Up until that point I had been in relationships where my thoughts, my feelings, my wants came second to my partners. The boyfriends I had in the past seemed like good people at first, but after a few months their true nature would emerge and I would be scrambling to figure out what I had done to change their feelings towards me. Even though Gregory seemed like he was different than the others, I was still apprehensive. I didn't want to get into another situation where I was taken advantage of, or used as someone's puppet. To be honest, it took a lot for me to be attracted to someone and Gregory hit all those boxes. I was making a huge decision. If I said no to Gregory my life could continue as it was and I wouldn't have to worry about all the nuances of a lifestyle I knew very little about. However, if I said yes it could be a great adventure. It would be a chance for me to explore parts of my mind, my sexuality that I'd never been brave enough to acknowledge. I needed to talk it out, I needed to have more questions answered before i could make a final decision. The only person who could give me those answers was Gregory, and I knew he was just a phone call away. I picked up the phone to arrange a meeting with Gregory and my heart instantly began to pound. I'd never felt this way, and for a moment I pang of doubt entered my stomach. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath then looked at my phone to call him. Gregory's voice was full of excitement as if he was a teenager hearing from his crush. "I'm so glad you called me Daisy, I was hoping to hear from you." Quickly regaining his composure, he steadied his voice making it more normal to his personality. "What can I do for you?" I was envious that he could be so in control of his feelings, and yet here I was almost too nervous to speak. "Can I meet with you, I want to discuss your proposal." "Daisy... I thought you'd never ask."
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"You look nervous" His deep blue eyes were focused on mine, making me feel even more edgy.
I looked down at my hands rubbing my pinky on my right hand. There was always this passion in me, this desire, this longing that I was always ashamed to explore. It wasn't until now I truly felt comfortable with someone to ask, consider, or even act upon my desires. Gregory had been very patient with me, we met a few months prior and there was something about him that made me feel at ease. It was hard for me to find a connection with someone let alone someone I could express my fantasies to. "I am nervous, I've never spoken to anyone about these things before. I've never even entertained the idea that I could explore my sexuality like this." I looked up to see him smiling at me, and I felt comforting warmth in it. We had been talking about these things in general terms, and now that we were here talking in more personal terms it was nice to know his demeanor wasn't changing. "How do you feel about me, Daisy?" he shifted in his seat placing one leg across the other in a less formal gesture. I thought about it for a moment, the last time I truthfully answered that question for someone they felt it was necessary to degrade me and take advantage of my feelings for them. "I'm attracted to you, " I said quietly as I lowered my gaze from him. My heart pounded in my ears and I was terrified to hear his response. I was expecting to hear something along the lines of, "you're a nice woman, but I don't feel the same way about you." The silence between us was deafening and it seems like forever before he responded. "Why haven't you said anything before now?" I felt anxiety creeping up on me, I had been played with mentally by a lot of men and my instinct was screaming at me that this was just another man who was trying to manipulate me. "I'm not playing a game with you Daisy, I just want to know." I raised my gaze to meet his once again and there was the sincerity in his eyes I knew him to have. My mind began to relax and I started to let my guard down. "I'm not very good with men," I let out a deep sigh, "I've been played with, I've been used, I've put myself in situations I thought I'd never be in. Plus I'm not exactly the most social person, I'm shy and somewhat awkward. And you're so experienced with these things and all I know is what I've read, researched, and what you've told me. You are most likely not attracted to me in that way, which is completely understandable. I'm sure you want a submissive that is experienced, not someone you have to train and ease in to the lifestyle. Plus, look at me, I'm not exactly drop dead gorgeous or someone's dream woman. I'm chubby and frumpy, you could do so much better than this." Pointing at myself to enforce my point, I saw a stern look cross his face. He sat back in his seat crossing his arms. "Daisy," he said in a stern tone I hadn't heard before while bringing one of his hands up to his chin, "You make some very good points. I know you're not experienced, and yes I could go find a more experienced submissive. Someone who knows the lifestyle, someone who wouldn't ask quite as many questions, or someone who knows exactly what they want and how they want it. Those types of submissives are a dime a dozen, that's not a good thing, it's not a bad thing, it's just a fact. However, it's also a fact that everyone has to start somewhere, and if I were to turn down someone simply because they weren't experienced what kind of dom would I be?" Putting his leg down he leaned forward letting this elbows rest on his knees. "This lifestyle is not a one time class, it's a constant education. Yes, you are a novice but that doesn't mean we couldn't learn things together. I'll be the first person to tell you that I don't know everything there is to know, I'm constantly learning just like you are and always should." He leaned forward a little more making sure he held eye contact with me. "You are right in saying you aren't good with men. I can tell that much because you don't think I'm attracted to you. You don't notice the way I look at you, the way I compliment you, the way I make time for you. I am attracted to you, very much. It's been a long time since I've found a woman who interests me the way you do. I think you're absolutely stunning, you're kind, you're sweet, and you have a wonderful sense of humor. I'd like very much to be your teacher, your dom. I'm well aware it will be a slow process, but I'm a patient man, I don't want to rush you into something that you don't want to do or something that you don't fully understand. I'm not looking to take advantage of you. I'm a dom, but I'm also a person and I realize you have emotions, needs, and wants just as I do." "I want your trust, your complete submission. But I'm not going to force it, I'm not going to pressure you, I'm not going to set a time limit. If and when you decide to give me your trust and your submission I promise you I will not take that responsibility lightly. I will never make you question whether it was the right thing to do. But you also have to earn my trust, and show me that it is placed in the right hands. Communication is a must, honest communication. I know you're shy and we'll work on that, but I want you to be able to trust me enough to know that it's okay to tell me no, or when you're feeling uncomfortable and I want to be be able to trust that you're not doing things just to please me or because you think that's what I want. You are a beautiful and rare find, Daisy, I can't let you slip away." I let out a huge breath, realizing that I had been holding it while I was focusing on what Gregory was saying. I sat in stunned silence as I tried to take in everything he said. Sitting across from me was this genuine, patient man, waiting for a response but not urging it before I was ready to give it. "Gregory, I... I don't know what to say..." I looked down at my hands as I started to rub my pinky again. "Just yes or no," His tone softened, "I just want to know if it's something you're interested in exploring. If it's overwhelming, if you need time to think about it that's perfectly fine. If you want to hold off and continue to be friends, that's fine as well. If, however, you want me like I want you we can take things slow, open that line of communication, extend that line of education, and figure out how we can make things work between us." "I... do... want you," I managed to squeak out, "I'm just nervous and I think I need some time to think about what it all means, and weigh the pros and cons of it." He leaned back in his chair with a somewhat proud smile on his face, "You're a smart woman Daisy, you take all the time you need and I'll be ready for your response once you've decided. Until then I'm more than happy to continue to be your friend." |